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| Saturday, December 3rd, 2005 | | 11:10 am |
Hmm. I suppose I should link to my new weblog...
lingeriehalucie.blogspot.com Could be called a political blog, could be called a personal blog, could be called "current events". I'm not about to start publishing multiple blogs for each of my interests and a separate personal one. Love me, love my political side, my inner-lawyer, and my carbs-are-awesome side. I'm mostly using my LJ account for the communities these days, though I might still post occasionally. | | Saturday, November 12th, 2005 | | 5:53 pm |
Does anyone know where I could find a statuette of Chateau Frontenac? Don't ask why, but I need to find one in Montreal before Tuesday... | | Monday, October 3rd, 2005 | | 12:48 pm |
Bush nominates a new Justice for the Supreme Court. Now, I'm not yet all that familiar with the American court system, but this quote bothered me. "For the past five years, Harriet Miers has served in critical roles in our nation's government." (<http://www.cnn.com/2005/politics/10/03/scotus.miers/index.html>) Damn it, it's not a honorific position. Otherwise, I don't have any information on her, besides "She's a good conservative", from the above CNN article. I have class in five minutes, so unfortunately I can't research this any more. Too bad. Oh, news addictions. EDIT: Woah, I love Wikipedia. I thought I'd open a tab search of Harriet Miers to see if they had anything on her: they already have a separate page of her court nomination. They are *fast*. | | Tuesday, July 5th, 2005 | | 3:09 pm |
Another test, this time, something to be proud of
Very very C anadian
You scored 100 Canada speak and 87 Canadianess! | | Way to go! You're definitely one of us. You like to discuss the weather with strangers and say sorry when someone steps on your foot. |  | My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 90% on Canada speak | | You scored higher than 99% on Canadianess |
| | | Monday, July 4th, 2005 | | 10:22 pm |
 Seductive Flirt What Kind of FLIRT are you? brought to you by Quizilla| You Are 26% American |  America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch! |
How bad is it that I'm embarassed to even be 26% American? After my recent experience with three tour groups of American tourists, I want to get as far away from that country as possible. Random prejudice, which is unlike me. I expect it will go away when the tourists stop putting scrambled eggs all over the floor and stop whining about me not restocking the bacon fast enough. Try some of the pineapple, it's really good. I'm absolutely miserable. I went to the K-Os concert, but it was PACKED, they had to close down Wharf street because the crowd was spilling out onto the road. I couldn't find a decent spot, so I came home, and now i'm sicker than I have been in quite awhile. At least I only work at 7 tomorrow, not 6. Starbucks will be open. I went to see Mr and Mrs Smith with Fong, it was so good to see him again. | | Thursday, June 23rd, 2005 | | 4:29 pm |
I suppose that despite pretty much kicking out of my life every person who made me feel this way, it is still shockingly easy to make me feel inferior. I finished "The Alchemist" today, and then went to buy the Coles Notes on American History, for a quick overview. I finally registered for my classes, and it'll be all history, all the time. Awesome. Whoever needs something to do in Montreal on the 25th should check out the show at the Medley, it's the Canadian finals of Emergenza. A few friends of mine are in the band Mosaic, and, since I won't be there to support them, I promised them I'd try to get everyone I knew to go. It starts at 7. Be there! (uh, if you're in Montreal. I guess I can't force people from Joliette, Quebec, Saskatoon and BC to go). Working mornings sucks. I'm used to being in charge at work, being completely involved in how the place is run. It's tough to go from being assistant manager and deciding on everything to being a bus girl. All I did this morning was supervise the stupid buffet, with the millions of German tourists yelling at me because their toast isn't dark enough. Plus, the morning chef was pissed off at everyone for everything. I have to admit, the chefs intimidate me! (by the way, this is the place: www.vista18.com) You know, Jeremy was telling me the other day. In Judaism, women are "higher" than men, because, traditionally, they stay home and do menial work all day, so they can think and be closer to God. Some of the most interesting, most humble people I've met are people with repetitive, menial jobs, who have the whole day to reflect. I think enough in my day-to-day school life, it's good to rest. Tall ships in Victoria this weekend. Adrien is going to Seattle, so he might come to Victoria. I'm missing Montreal very much right now. I'm worrying quite a bit, too. Listening to Atmosphere - Scapegoat. Loving the White Stripes' new album, though I don't have the whole thing. It might be worth the iTunes purchase, though I've been going slightly overboard with those. Tempted to start a mix-CD chain letter, though that wouldn't enable me to receive any. I want my friends (and random people, I guess) to send me CD mixes. New music, you know? Current Music: The White Stripes - I'm lonely (but I ain't that lonely yet) | | Sunday, June 19th, 2005 | | 11:05 am |
My feeeeet! Damn you expensive Rockport shoes. Or rather, damn you salesman who told me I should get the ones that were a tiny bit too snug, as opposed to the ones that were too loose, saying that they would stretch out. Day 4 of my job and they still haven't, so my feet are covered in painful blisters. Ouch! Adam Brody is still in Victoria. I'm wondering if I want to go to Mayfair Mall and be a stalker. Flavie would love me for it. Work was really busy last night! I made some decent money, and I'm finally getting the hang of things. Water, then bread, clear, fill water, coffee, clear everything, re-set. Plus re-stock everything. I'm having some issues with one co-worker in particular, but whatever, I have a feeling she has the same attitude with everyone. Otherwise, I'm loving everyone I work with. I'm craving a piece of chocolate cake. I think I'll treat myself to one. I saw the most awesome looking girl at Jacob yesterday. Seriously, I could not stop looking at her, though I was trying to look like I wasn't, obviously. She was dressed all in black and was just so, so pretty. I'm weird, I'm straight but I notice pretty girls more than hot guys. | | Sunday, June 5th, 2005 | | 5:29 pm |
In Victoria... and exhausted.
Well, here I am. The train journey was nice. I met a lot of people, people who have been travelling for awhile. Out of the 10 or so people my age on the train, I was the only canadian. I was also the only one with a precise destination. I'm jealous. I always told myself that after college, I would do that sort of thing: just go. Maybe I will. But anyway, I'm in Victoria now, and everything is pretty much the same. The Devil has opened another coffee shop next to the Thrifty's close to my mom's place. Otherwise, even the weather is similar to when I left. I thought I'd want to go to the beach on my first day back, but all I really want to do is sleep. (I had a strange compulsion to update my LiveJournal and check on the Victoria community first, though). Leaving Montreal was hard. I didn't end up calling Max, because I didn't have the time (or energy, really) to have a long conversation with him. When he called, I told him that I would call him when I arrived in Victoria. Now I don't even want to. He emailed me a long letter, saying how he's cutting his hair, he tried to give blood but since he lived in Europe, they wouldn't let him... about how he realizes how the comment that started the fight that started the breakup was unsensitive and mean. See, I kind of expected an email like this. Something like "here are some of the things I know you'd like about me now, and see? I'm doing them". Almost... "come back"? I worry too much. Way too much. I worry that this so-called "just a flirtation" with Jared might have come too soon. I really, really like him. And I really, really don't want to just transfer a "degree of seriousness" from a two-year thing to a two-week thing. I guess that's what long trips across the country are for; clearing one's mind, doing what one wants and ONLY what one wants. I might have a job interview tomorrow, I have to call the Marriott early. I hope I do, I want to start working as soon as I can. | | Sunday, May 15th, 2005 | | 11:54 am |
The party last night was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I started feeling really weak around 1am, so I asked Daniel to drive me home. I don't think I would have made it on the metro/bus. I came home and passed out on my bed, waking up throughout the night to cough. This morning, I woke up more miserable than I had been in a few days. It might be whooping cough, actually. I just learned that my vaccine for it was innefective. Lovely. I wish I would have brought a camera to the party. I should have gone to buy one! Anyhow. I have work later this afternoon, I'll need to get up sometime. I finally went inside the Hotel Godin, it's gorgeous! The basement looks a bit bare, but it's so modern! I can't wait to be back at the Marriott, hopefully with a nicer job this time around. We'll see. So many things are happening, I'm so confused. I don't know where to start. There are so many things I can't talk about, things I can't even really think about. I wish things were easy, I wish no one was ever hurt. | | Thursday, May 12th, 2005 | | 9:53 pm |
Big rant for being sick
Ugh. Everything hurts! Fong left my place at 8 or so. I didn't want him to leave! We really had a good time, and he's an even greater guy than I thought. No newspaper for me today, I have trouble keeping my eyes open. I should study for my philosophy test tomorrow, but I really want to sleep. I cancelled work, Cathy didn't sound too mad, I called as early as I could. I think Jeremy is taking over my shift. I'm so glad. I can not imagine getting up at 5 tomorrow. Max is at Guillaume's place, I think. I'm going to his place tomorrow, for the first time in forever. It'll be nice, but I'll probably have to stay on the couch all day or something, unfortunately. Then Saturday is the Liberal Arts party! It will probably be bittersweet, for me, anyway. A lot of people I really like are going to be there, and some I doubt I'll ever talk to after Liberal. They're all going their own ways, and I'll be back for one more semester, alone. Wandering between groups of people since I won't really belong to a program anymore. I'm sad. I made some friends in these two years, but I wish I had been more free to go out when I wanted. I was always at work after school, so I never really hung out with anyone but Daniel. Going to the pub on... what day was it? Tuesday? was really fun. I wish I would have done that more often. Regrets, however, are useless, and all I can do is learn from this and move on, I suppose. Some of these people will never know that they had an impact on my life, and some will never know just how awesome I thought they were. I'll have to keep in touch. I never really made that many friends in high school. I did not want to be there, it might have shown. "The Vancouver girl thinks she's too good for us!". There were also various comments about "la chasseuse", which really hurt. Then college came, and I was always working, always sick, feeling weird because I didn't know anyone there. Oh, how sad. No, anyway. I need to start reading my philosophy papers, even though I doubt I'll feel good enough to write the test tomorrow. Either Mr. Krishtalka will see it and give me till Monday to recover, or I'll do my best. Mr. Tannenbaum will see my email whenever he's back, if that matters. | | Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 | | 11:17 pm |
This shall now become... Ophelie's Ranting about the Media blog
Thanks to Jared for suggesting I use my Live Journal for this purpose (I haven't been using it much at all, actually). I actually did not have time to notice anything worth ranting about today (I'm, of course, skipping over the whole sponsorship scandal deal. The "ca doit etre commandité!" jokes are becoming less rare, a sign that it is now entering pop culture and may not be worth me ranting over). As a note, though, has anyone noticed how Karla Homolka is following me? I leave Joliette for Montreal, and where does she show up? Montreal. Well, NDG. Close enough. Could this be another connection to fame for me? After my mom having the same orthodontist as Celine Dion, Gregory Charles sleeping at my parents' place for a week, and my aunt being Elisha Cutberth's travelling tutor when she was on Popular Mechanics for Kids, I have Karla Homolka following me. | | Saturday, March 26th, 2005 | | 11:25 pm |
Argh, I had a million things to write about when I was on the bus, now I can't think of anything. I'm super-tired, I work tomorrow morning with Jeremy, but first I want to walk along st catherine, maybe I'll walk all the way to work? From my place? I could do it. The bus made me nostalgic. How bad is it that I sleep better on a bus? Something about the vibrations in the bus, it's soothing. All of a sudden I wanted to be both in Montreal and in Victoria. I don't know anymore. Also, all of a sudden, I'm super-proud of my french heritage, background, upbringing. I realized on the bus that one day, I'll want to look back at this time, right now, and be proud that I defended what I believed in, no matter if I still agree with it twenty years from now. I started to think that I might get a tatoo of a Fleur de Lys... not because I'm a hardcore quebecoise separatist who needs to show it, but because "la francophonie" has always been a part of me, and it's the one thing that probably always will be. I'd have a reminder never to be assimilated. If I wanted to be hardcore, I could get "je me souviens" under it, but that's a little too Quebecoise-militant for me. Ah, felix. I miss him. We're not hanging out much these days, we're both crazy busy, and I miss him. | | Friday, March 25th, 2005 | | 7:28 am |
I'm going to Quebec City today... Haha, funny radio line: If your pot comes from the Centre Sud, you're stuck: Police found your supplier. But then they talked about Ontario Street as being part of the Centre Sud, and, as Orsi knows, there is NO part of my street that can be associated with that neighbourhood. Viva Hochelaga. Strike: ongoing. I'm still not a part of it, but I wear my red square proudly. Plans: few. Visiting my aunt today and tomorrow, then working Sunday all day with Jeremy (oh the joy). Monday: cooking lesson at my other aunt's place with my sister, then homework. Tuesday: work, then school. I'm running insanely late, I just realized. Procrastination at it's best. I need to pack for the weekend: I'm bringing my lovely red vintage suitcase. I'll write more when I get back, or whenever I can find a free wireless connection over the weekend. | | Thursday, March 17th, 2005 | | 11:30 am |
I called nick last night, around 2am my time. I hadn't talked to him since the whole dream ordeal, and I was thinking about him a lot. Ugh. We barely talked. It was... strange. Maybe he has a girlfriend again? Things seem to get weird when he has one. He was eating at his mom's place and eventually offered to call me back when he was done, but I fell asleep before he did. I'm still at home, studying for my law exam later today. It should be pretty easy. After that, I have to write two essays for my english class (which I'm currently skipping, I thought I'd have a lot more to study than I actually do). I'll slip them under his door tomorrow. tomorrow: work at 6:30, then philosophy at 11:30-1, then probably hanging out with Max till about 7, when he leaves for up north, his friend's brother has a show. Then I'll... hmm, I don't know what I'll do. I want to go out but I'm broke, maybe I'll give Brooks a call and see what he's up to. Saturday, work all day. Possibly going to a show after, a Metallica cover band. Alcoholica, soiunds like... I'll be drunk. Speaking of drunkedness, today is St-Patrick's day. Hmm. It's a big deal in Montreal. Too bad I'll be writing those stupid essays. What else. It's so nice here. Not very cold, around 0. The sun is shining. I feel like getting a haircut. My hair is just about the right length, but it needs some cleaning up. I'm broke. My bangs need to be cut very badly. How exciting. Jeff Filion finally quit his morning show this morning. He was scheduled to quit on the 1st of April, but he left this morning. Oh my! the new green day single is Holiday? That's my favourite song on the album! (the album which I lost when my computer crashed. And I paid money for it on iTunes, too! For once!) *sigh* I want to go baaaaaaaack. Jeff Filion. Right. It's about time. He's caught up in this big scandal with Sophie Chiasson, the weather girl on TVA (I think). So many exciting thigns in the news in Quebec these days. Actually i've been plugged onto cnn.com and cyberpresse.ca constantly for the past few days. When I get to work, I give people a little summary of the day's events so far. I love it. I love knowing what's happening, it's fascinating. Speaking of news, I guess I can't avoid the news about Peterson. I'm against the death penalty, mostly because I think it can be described as "cruel and unusual punishment". Eye to eye, tooth for tooth? Anyone else thinking that since it was such a publicized case, it made it easier to pass the death penalty? Scott Peterson has been shown as a monster in every possible media. The picture of a pregnant Laci, in the black dress, smiling, was also shown everywhere. Doesn't that affect public opinion? Giving this case some kind of momentum that makes people think that the next logical step is for Peterson to die? I don't know. I am not by ANY MEANS trying to defend him. | | Monday, March 7th, 2005 | | 3:06 pm |
Oh yeah, I have a picture now : ) some girl on makeupalley.com (don't laugh, it has an awesome message board for the cosmetics-addicted) cropped it for me, since there's nothing to do it with on my computer. I should have gone to math class. i should be in math class right now, actually! Meh. I might swing by Ogilvy's later, need to get some eyeliner and stuff. See, I was reading a girl's journal, her entry in the victoria group I belong to, and she was saying how she was driving to school, and she saw something white fall on her car, and she thought it was snow, but, no, it was CHERRY BLOSSOM PETALS. I'm insanely jealous. Montreal's a great city. it's fun, there's always something to do, when I bother to go out, I'm NEVER bored of the people. But aesthetically? It's null. It's not pretty! Especially when it's snowing, which is like 8 months out of the year. I miss the water, I miss having to wear a winter jacket for two weeks. I called Ben for his birthday last night, it was so strange to hear his voice. It was cool. In a strange way, I was scared to call: it's like I'm only part of their lives for a few months out of the year, and the only contact we've ever had while I was in Quebec was over the internet. It's like I'm a part-time friend, even? | | 12:47 pm |
hahaha, hahaha, hahaha.
Your Seduction Style: The Coquette |
You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get.
Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you.
Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte.
And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you. | | | Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005 | | 1:45 pm |
Sitting on the floor of the Upper Atrium...
There was some sort of comedy show in Conrods, so I couldn't go in, and this is the only place I have a wireless connection, so I'm sitting on the floor. Awesome. Not very comfortable, but at least I get to see a lot of people I know. I was pretty impatient this morning, I had trouble opening Max's homework on my computer, and he was freaking out because he thought i wouldn't be able to do it and print it out in time for this 10am deadline. I did it, but not without cursing Windows, that's for sure. Not much is new, I downloaded some great french music; Daniel Belanger and Jean Leloup. I have to go to work later on today, again with Sabrina. I hav ea feeling that some people won't be working with us for much longer, given what Adrien and Jeremy are telling me. I can't say that I'm saddened by this. Gosh, I have nothing pertinent to say. I should go to Second Cup and do math homework. Yeah, I think I'll do that. | | Saturday, February 19th, 2005 | | 3:09 pm |
Waiting for my new toy...
I ordered the iPod shuffle yesterday! That means I won't have any money at all for the next few weeks, since I'm already paying my mom back for my computer. Speaking of my mom, we talked a bit. She called to announce the birth of my... second cousin, I suppose? My cousin had her second child this morning, a girl named Emma. She's three weeks premature, but perfectly healthy, and she'll go home on Monday or Tuesday. I can't wait to see her! Her almost-2 year old brother, Elliot, is the cutest, smartest kid I've seen. This day is proving to be a waste. i felt really sick this morning, randomly, so I stayed on the couch all day. Maybe i'll go take a walk, Max called and said it wasn't really cold out there. Sure beats staying in and eating popcorn! It's sort of crazy how much people change. When I was a kid, I had the hugest crush on this boy, "B". Between the ages of 9 and 14! We started talking again a few months ago, and saw each other twice this winter... we had absolutely nothing to talk about. He's a pro soccer player, and he's in Vancouver for a few months, between contracts. All we talked about was his buisness oportunities. No talk about politics, common friends, love lives, philosophy, nothing. Sometimes people just don't click anymore when they grow in different directions. Ah, I'm getting up: I'll clean my apartment a bit, then go for a walk. | | Wednesday, February 16th, 2005 | | 12:51 pm |
Taking a few minutes to post before I head home...
First of all, I'd like to direct people to neave.com. That's where I found a mac version of Tetris to download. Paul Neave also kindly sent me the mac version of Pac Man, which he is no longer allowed to distribute for free through his website. None of the Pac Man copies I had found were quite as... authentic, shall I say, as this one (which can also be played, but not downloaded, at www.ebaumsworld.com/pacman.html) Enough geekiness for today. It's snowing... I'd say "heavily", but that conjures up the image of a snowstorm. No, it's not a storm; rather, it's heavy snowflakes that fall very quickly. I'm in Conrods right now (one of the student lounges at Dawson College) and I'm surrounded by windows looking out onto the two couryards, and it's quite pretty. It's not very cold out there, either. I woke up super late this morning, at 9:20 for a 10am class. I usually leave 45 minutes before my class. I pulled on the first clothes I grabbed, brushed my teeth, didn't bother with makeup or breakfast, and ran. I made it in time for my Integrative Seminar! Do they really bury people under 6 feet of earth? Tannenbaum mentioned that he might cancel Friday's class because of a funeral (a Christian funeral at that!). I really, really want an iPod. Preferably one with lots of storage, at least 15g, but I'll do with a Mini or even a Shuffle! My mpio doesn't seem to want to connect to my new computer, so I've had the same playlist since mid-December, before I left on the bus. I downloaded the mac client of the mpio software, even managed to make it work with OSX, and still nothing. It says there's something wrong with my USB driver...??? Everything else works with it. Of course the web site is badly translated from Korean, so I have no idea what to do but wait untill I have enough money and splurge on a new toy. I don't know what I'll do with that one, it's so pretty, mirrored! But not in good enough condition to sell. As I was running to the metro this morning, I was listening to the radio, and happened upon Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning. I had to stop and wonder (not very long, cause I was late) at how strange it was to hear that song in two very different climates, two very different situations. The first time I heard it, I remember, I was on the SeaBus, on a completely useless treck to... ah, what's the name of that market? Longsdale? something like that. I was waiting for a call from Nick, and I wanted to see as much of Vancouver as I could before I left. So I was on the water, backing away from the city, I remember it was incredibly sunny, so warm, too! The waves were shining, the city was sparkling. Vancouver really does sparkle, even in winter, when Montreal is dulled by the snow and pollution. I heard that song and it made me smile, I remember, the reception sucked. I was missing Ben already, I was trying to remind myself that I would be back soon enough. I had made up my mind already, that I was moving back, but that moment strengthened it. Wow, remembering that boat ride gives me tears in my eyes. I was just completely at peace, completely happy. I was hurting, missing my friends, knowing that at any moment I would be ripped away from all of THIS, the beauty, the energy, the sunshine... but at the same time I was glad to be a part of it, even if only for a few moments. And this morning, running to the metro, under this heavy snow, avoiding puddles. I have very little pride in Montreal, nothing like what i feel when I'm in Victoria or even Vancouver, though it's been a few years. I don't have very many moments of joy like I do back there. Anyhow, I should go home, clean a bit, read Madame Bovary (I found out last night that my sister is also reading it, though she's reading the original version. I wish I was; I try to avoid translations). Then it's off to work, probably with Sabrina (please, God, give me the strength not to snap at her!), Max is picking me up after. I kind of look at my life here with a strange resolution, thinking, only 10 more months. Only 10 more months. I don't have a plan, I don't know what I'll be doing, I don't know where the money will come from. I only know that I can't be here anymore, not for very long. I feel like I'm dying, and when I go back, it's like my battery is charged for a few months. the longest I've been without going back is almost two years, and I don't know how i did it. I had started forget, I know that's what it was. Current Music: Green Day - Waiting, Rufus Wainright - Hallelujah | | Sunday, February 13th, 2005 | | 12:25 pm |
Yuck, part II
I went to see Hotel Rwanda last night. I couldn't talk for about an hour afterwards. That movie grabbed my heart, put it in a blender, poured it back into my body. I actually felt physical pain as I was walking out, like someone had been hitting me with a baseball bat. this morning, I get a call from my sister, saying that she lost her phone, and that Dad won't call the phone company to cancer her account (it's under his name). So she asks me to do it, because I'm over 18. I can't, I say, I'm not him, and I cant open a new account for you (credit limit). She says that she asked mom to call on my phone if she's trying to reach her, since Mom's not calling at my dad's place anymore. My sister calls again later, saying that not only is Dad not dealing with her re: lost phone, but he's not going to transfer the grocery money for this week and that he's going to hold the check for our rent. He's starting to play my mom's game. I left a message asking him to call me, he still hasn't. My mother calls. She's looking for my sister. I decided to be the bigger person, to apologize and see where it would lead us. So I say that I overreacted yesterday, and I start to explain how I'm feeling. I don't even have time to finish "I think I overreacted yesterday", when she says that I don't need my dad, that in life, I'll need her more than I'll need him. I say that that's irrelevant, that they are both my parents and that I love and need them both. "well, I need to fight someone, and if I can't fight you, I'll fight your father," she replies. "I don't understand how you can have a relationship with an asshole like him". Well, Mom, thanks for showing me that hearing yourself diss my dad is more important to you than what i'm saying. Wow. There is no way I'm calling her back in a long time. I just said "look, I told you I don't want to be put in the middle. I'm going to go now". and I hung up. When all of this mess started, when I was 13 or so... wow, no, I was actually 12. Anyway. I remember feeling completely numb, raw, like I couldn't cry anymore or talk or anything. And it feels like that now. Raw. That's how I feel, sort of like everything that touches me hurts, everything I hear, everything anyone says. What's funny is that when I told this to one of my friends earlier today, on MSN, he said that I couldn't be that unhappy, that I had everything I needed, everything I wanted, that I never looked that sad, or like anything was wrong. Funnier yet is that now that I've poured out these bad news, I feel like if I write about anything else, it will dive into self-pity, and people reading this will roll their eyes at me thinking everything is so bad. |
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